8 video game and movie reviews plus one
Game and movie reviews ahead. Titles are in boldGrim Fandango
Like I said before, it’s one of the coolest games that I’ve ever played. Gamespot’s game of the year for 1998. Cool art direction, logical puzzles, good voice acting, witty dialogue and intriguing plot all add up to one damn good game.
Unlike most adventure games, you only use the keyboard. This can be a pain in some areas because you can only interact with objects/people if you see Manny turning his head to that object/person. Luckily this problem doesn’t occur that often.
The best and toughest part of the game is the second year. Unlike the other years (there are 4 years in total), you’re not limited to a few screens, but instead you have complete access to a whole town, which is why year 2 is the most difficult. Some of the puzzles are pretty rough in year 2 (finding the wine cellar, getting the metal detector and deciphering the details of the cat race picture). The only illogical puzzle (in my opinion) occurs in year 3 when you have to get into a cooler/storage area to rescue someone; the solution still makes no sense to me.
While playing grim, I discovered this site that gives you a series of subtle hints without giving you the full answer. It’s incredibly useful because it allows you to progress without completely ruining the game. I had to use it to get by the 4 puzzles mentioned above and the wheel barrow puzzle in year 1. I managed to get thru year 4 without no help though. Yay me.
Strong recommendation
Call of Duty 2
According to some reviews, the performance can chug on a lot of PCs. Personally, I never had any noticeable frame rate hits. There are four difficulties: easy, normal, hardened and veteran. I played thru hardened first and after I dragged myself thru veteran. Aside from “comrade sniper”, this game is much easier than Perfect Dark or Halo’s “Into the belly of the beast” on legendary. The “comrade sniper” level just illuminates the flaws of this game.
1) Your computer controlled comrades
Unfortunately, you need your teammates to survive, because otherwise you’ll be drawing all of the gunfire from the Germans. You can still take out the Germans by yourself, but your progress will be much slower. During shootouts, it’s best to be aggressive and advance on the enemy position, otherwise you’ll suffer from the “infinite wave of enemies unless you close some imaginary line”. Game reviews say that this imaginary line doesn't exist, but I strongly disagree. Battles tend to end much more quickly if you make your advances. Your teammates are too stupid to initiate any advance, so you’ll have to take charge (thus drawing all of the enemy fire)
Your teammates will also occasionally position themselves between you and the enemy, which will lead to an accidental friendly fire death. However, friendly fire isn’t tolerated, so you’ll be booted back to the last checkpoint. This can be extremely aggravating. I prefer Halo 1’s system for friendly fire (you won’t fail the mission, but you’re teammates might turn on you).
In the game, there are several instances where you have defend and hold a position, yet each time, your teammates are too stupid to defend the entrance to your defensive position. Hence you’ll have blast away at the oncoming enemy troops while hoping you can survive any flank attacks long enough to kill the intruders. “Comrade sniper” is the worst because there are two entrances, and if you play defense only, you’ll just get overwhelmed since you aren’t attacking the oncoming waves of troops.
The developers would be best served by ditching any pretense of realism. The Halo 2 – esque health system enables you to literally survive hundreds of gunfire rounds and you’ll have to rack up a ridiculous number of kills to pass any mission.
2) Repetition
The game essentially boils down to: shootouts, charging into enclosed spaces and defend & hold. Unlike Halo where battles play out different each time, battles here essentially play out the same each time. Ok, maybe the game was really repetitive for me because I forced myself to play veteran when I wasn't really up for it. Then again, I played Halo on normal, heroic and legendary consecutively and wasn’t bored for a second.
Very mild recommendation
Brokeback Mountain
Ok you uptight heterosexuals.
Nudity count scoreboard.
Female: 2
Michelle Williams (meh)
Anne Hathaway (alright. Giggidy, giggidy, gi-gi-dy.)
Male: 0
I don’t count the time where the penises of the male leads flicker onto the screen for a microsecond when they’re jumping off a cliff into the river.
The male leads do have sex at one point, but it’s not too graphic since the camera cuts away partially. There’s also some male kissing and cuddling for you squeamish types. I can see people from a conservative backwater hole like Smithers freaking about this film, but I’m disappointed when I see this among secular peers in Vancouver. C’mon people, it's the 21st century and we should leave this discrimination behind us.
Anyways, I liked it and Heath Ledger was really good. Best picture? Haven’t seen Capote or Munich yet, so I can’t say for sure.
Recommended
Crash
Good movie until the 75 minute mark and the scene involing in the black director. From there, the movie rapidly goes downhill. The film then proceeds to offer oodles of cheap sentimentality, several illogical sequences and a couple unresolved & pointless storylines. Throw in some cheesy attempts to heighten the drama with Arabic sounding music, and you have one hell of an awful film. I haven’t felt this disgusted since the ending to AI (Kubrick must’ve rolled over in his grave because of that tacked on alien storyline. If that movie ended at the Madonna, it would’ve been awesome, but no, we want the Disney ending. I honestly wanted to punch someone afterwards)
Avoid at all costs.
Napoleon Dynamite
This film was mildly funny at certain spots. Otherwise, this is one of the most pointless films I’ve ever seen. It’s more of a series of sketches that are tied together, which wouldn’t be too bad if the movie was actually funny. This film would appeal to sub-urban yuppies that are dying to be counterculture.
Avoid.
Freddy Got Fingered
For whatever reason, I downloaded this in spite of all of the bad reviews. At first, the movie appeared to be your typical coming of age story.
Then before you know, Tom Green is waving around a horse’s penis.
Other lowlights: Tom wearing a dear carcass, Tom licking his friend’s open wound, Tom biting down on an umbilical cord. This is only the first 24 minutes.
By the time, Tom was munching down on the umbilical cord (24 min mark), I just couldn’t stomach anymore and I stopped watching. Afterwards I read the IMDB forum and found that some people thought this film was pure genius. Trolls and idiots.... where would we be without them. This may be the worst film I've ever seen. At least Gigli had the Jlo writhing in spandex scene.
Avoid and destroy all copies of this film please. For the benefit of mankind.
Hard boiled
“Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's Superman. Give him two and he thinks he's God.”
I thought the dialogue and storyline were serviceable. But who cares. This movie is all about the highly stylized action sequences.
Some of the action moments are just absolutely brilliant: putting the car into neutral, escaping from hospital morgue and the iconic sliding down the stairwell railing.
Strong recommendation.
The Godfather
Actually, I’ve seen this before, but I fell asleep during the middle (coincidentally, I also fell asleep during the middle of the Godfather Part II). Because of my nap, the movie made no sense to me.
Check out this classic quote from Shaq concerning the Godfather [New York Post Online Edition]
“The difference between those three is the Godfather trilogy,” O'Neal said in classic Shaq-speak. “One is Fredo, who was never ready for me to hand it over to him. One is Sonny, who will do whatever it takes to be the man, and one is Michael, who if you watch the trilogy, the Godfather hands it over to Michael. So I have no problem handing it over to Dwyane.”
It doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize Shaq was comparing Kobe to the psychotic Sonny, and Penny with the weaker Fredo characters from that movie. There only seems to be one that O'Neal would go to the mattresses with. As for Wade, last night it was his shot that sent the Knicks to sleep with the fishes.
“I would love to see the ball in my hands, but I'm not the best player or the best shooter on this team,” O'Neal said. “I don't mind handing it over to Michael Dwyane Corleone.”
Another classic quote from Shaq.
Anyhow, this movie kicks an insane amount of ass. Brando, Pacino, Keaton, Duvall, Caan, Cazale, Cappola. C’mon now, how can this film not kick ass? My 2nd favorite ending of all time (movies, video games & books) with my favorite ending being Godfather Part II.
Highest recommendation.
Bonus
Foo Fighters - The Colour and The Shape
You remember that "White people can't dance" skit by Dave Chappelle? I guess I'd be white with a touch of black. Something about the energy in this record that gets me amped.
posted by Edward @ 12:41 AM
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